Children: so cute, until they start crying. And when they do, where do you run to? We can help. If you really want to escape other people's kids (or your own), book into one of these peaceful adult-only retreats.

Bohemia Suites & Spa, Gran Canaria

When you're not ogling the dramatic volcanic scenery or basking in the year-round sunshine on the beaches of Gran Canaria, linger on a lounger at Bohemia Suites. Forget lilo wars and dive bombing, the pool is a tranquil space to chill out, read a book or play Angry Birds. bohemia-grancanaria.com

Sandals, Barbados

Sandals' newest opening, on the peachy white-sand beaches of Barbados, is all about you (oh, and your better half). The Luxury Included all-inclusive policy means you don't need to worry about racking up a big bar bill – just enjoy cocktails and unlimited watersports as part of your deal. Balconies come with private soaking tubs, and that's where you'll find us, sipping on a piña colada (or two). sandals.co.uk

Spa Village Tembok, Bali

Far from the well-trodden tourist towns, this is a serene space where you can recover after all those beach parties, and satisfy all your hippy fantasies with stargazing and yoga swings. There's an impressive natural spa, and you guessed it – no children are allowed. They'd play havoc with your meditation. spavillageresort.com